I’m still social.
Just not available in the way I used to be.

Being social now looks quieter. Fewer plans. Smaller groups. More one-on-one time where you actually get to talk, catch up, and connect without shouting over background noise or splitting attention ten different ways. I still enjoy a big gathering once in a while, but it’s no longer my default.

Daytime plans suit me more these days. Lunches. Coffees. Long conversations that don’t need an after-party. That said, I still love a good dinner, at a nice restaurant or at someone’s home, followed by a drink if the mood is right. It’s not about avoiding people. It’s about choosing the setting and the energy.

Not being available, for me, is very practical.

Last-minute plans are usually a no. Even if I technically have nothing scheduled, that time often belongs to me. My “me day” matters. There was a time when someone could message me at noon suggesting lunch at one thirty and I would drop everything to show up. Family plans. Alone time. Rest. All negotiable. That version of me doesn’t exist anymore.

Replies are slower too. Not because I don’t care, but because I don’t live inside my phone. WhatsApp is probably the app I check the least. If something isn’t urgent, I’ll reply when I actually have the mental space to do so, not while rushing between things.

I say no a lot more now. To most things, actually. And when I do say yes, I mean it. I commit. I show up. I don’t overbook myself or hedge my answers anymore. Protecting evenings and weekends has become non-negotiable.

Of course, some people noticed.

“You’ve changed.”
“You’re never around.”
“You seem distant.”

All true. And all for the better.

At first, saying no came with guilt. Then it became neutral. Now, more often than not, it feels like relief. Confidence grows quietly when you realise you don’t owe your time to everyone just because they asked for it.

There are people I’m fully available for. They know who they are. They’ve shown up, stayed consistent, and proven over time that the energy goes both ways. Those relationships feel easy. Safe. Mutual.

I can enjoy people without needing to be constantly accessible because it’s my life. Life moves fast. Priorities shift. I learnt the hard way that if I don’t put myself first, no one else will do it for me. Protecting my time and energy has brought me something invaluable.

Peace.

And honestly, I’m good with that.

— Raulito